GENTING ALONE WITH MYSELF AND MY THOUGHTS

Wow Genting here is so happening, whereby you can see 2am still people are hanging out chit chatting with all their friends and family. Isn’t it nice to have a bunch of friend/ family to hang out with? Well for this moment I don’t think so that friends/family could help me on this. Purpose to come here alone is because I really want to know whether I like him or I love him. I really don’t even understand myself and my thoughts at all, this is very dangerous for me. First time I’m telling myself doesn’t understand me? Not to say my friends or family, even me myself I also don’t know what I’m thinking and acting.

But one thing I really want to find out that do I like him or Love him, this question need to be solve before I wanted to tell him how I feel. Yes sometimes I do miss him, but sometimes I just hate him so much!!!! He doesn’t even want to bother anymore like previously he does. But anyway I don’t think I will confess to him what I feel about him, because I think surround him there is a better choice. Being so childish of me doesn’t help at all but is making the situation worst. I don’t know what he think about me, but for me I really need to figure it out what actually my feeling are, and what I want from him.

As Fion say, doesn’t matter what is the answer, please maintain the friendship you and him have previously and not because you feel so embarrass about to confess the feeling. And Ling say, if you don’t tell now you sure will regret because you don’t know what will happen in future. Human so strange, or can say I’m so strange. Because every friend around me encourage me to confess to him but I choose not to confess because I really don’t know I like him or I Love him…. I really in the mist of confusing or maybe misunderstanding about his act/ speak… at here I keep on asking Whether I like him or Love him why not just tell him what I feel about? Why is it so hard to speak from my mouth or SMS him? I think because I felt that I’m so unsure that is why I still keep quiet and think about it so deep.

Hello I’m Lydia what!!!!! Nothings could have bother me, just a relationship have make me unreasonable and act not like me? No No No I should have act my own self not other people to get to the answer… I think I figure it out what should I do and not to think so much anymore. For this moment I think I better focus on my purpose of my life and work hard to migrate to US…. I’m working very hard on it, and I wish my mom can go to US again next year, by 2013 I go that time maybe I won’t come back to Malaysia!!! I mean hope my mom will not come back to Malaysia and work at US. So that I have my path way to there already….

Finally, fresh airs in Genting really make me refresh my mind and think it deep down in my heart. No one else but me to figure it out isn’t it? Well all the answer I have is to focus on what I want no more bothering anything and worry of nothing when I have strongly set what I want. I have my own car and I want to go anywhere I like and I want, no one is going to stop me because I have my own way!! Although sometimes I’m alone but I do feel the time to get to know myself better.
Hope Genting here will not polluted by those smokers…. Because they have polluted my lungs… well got to end this…

My cup of Chocolate Cream Blended... Yum Yum

Lydia :) 0228/ 11 Sept 2010